Daft Charades
by doctorwhoyesyourequiteright
Summary: This story centers on the deep connection The Doctor and The Master / The Mistress / Missy have with one another and how long they've denied it to be true. " I need you to know we're not so different, I need my friend back." Why the Master has always done what the Master has done and why The Doctor isn't entirely innocent in his affairs. It's a Twissy story.
1. Chapter 1: Christmas

Chapter 1: Christmas

"All of this, all of it just to give me an army? I don't want an army!"

"But that's the trouble! Yes YOU do! You've ALWAYS wanted one! All those people suffering the Dalek camps? Now you can save them! All those bad guys winning all the wars? Go and get the good guys back!"

"Nobody can have that power…."

"You will, because you don't have a choice! There's only one way you can stop these clouds from opening up and killing all your pets down here. Conquer the universe, mister president. Show a bad girl how it's done."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I need you to know that we're not so different…I need my friend back."

The doctor sat in frustration in the dark corner of the TARDIS, unable to open his eyes to the damage he had inflicted hours earlier. His head hung under his exasperated grip and he fought the tears back for the third time. Gallifrey had not been at the coordinates, and it wasn't because she had lied. She would never lie to him about Gallifrey. It is the one truth the Master would always tell.

These were the right coordinates and Gallifrey was lost to him. Always lost to him. Always out of reach because of what he did. His home protects itself from its destroyer, and that is why he cannot return. Not even with the grace and forgiveness of another Time Lord could he return, he realized, as he had sat in the dark recalling all that he had done. It was then that he saw exactly what the Mistress had offered him that day: Her forgiveness, her real gift to him. The army was just a ploy to show him, and he ran from his lesson for fear of what he would learn.

After all of it, even she was still able to forgive what he could never forgive himself for.

He gasped, ashamed. He wanted to take her in chains, bloody her wrists and ignore the blood stains on his own hands! How much more blood was on his hands. _I need you to know that we're not so different. I need my friend back._

"Missy," the doctor whispered her name, calling out to the air and finding cold silence responding with its taunting nature.

thump thump thump thump

The sounding of the drums. The beating of Missy's heart. Thump Thump Thump Thump.

Realizing they were knocks upon his TARDIS door, the doctor looks up quizzically and hears a stranger's voice. "Doctor…you know it can't end it like that….we need to get this sorted, quickly."

He cautiously makes his way to the TARDIS door. Who could it be and more pressingly, how did they find him here? This was his secret remote hiding spot away from humans. Away from animals, even. A place so desolate, so empty, that even the wind fears to blow through it.

"She's not alright, you know. And neither are you," the voice continued. "I'm coming in."

The TARDIS door opened and flakes of snow fall in behind a large figure in red. Santa Claus. The doctor stares unbelievably at the jolly figure.

"Ah, there you are." Santa exclaimed, wiping the snow from his shoulders and all over the TARDIS floor. This did not amuse the doctor, but he had greater, pressing matters. "I knew I'd get around to you eventually. Now stop gawking and tell me, what do you want for Christmas?"

The doctor raised his thick eyebrows curiously at him. "Pardon? What do I want? For Christmas?"

"Yes, lad," Santa chuckled, removing his glasses and wiping the fog from them, "that is what I said."

The doctor sat down and rubbed his chin curiously, staring at the folklore manifestation before him.

"You aren't real. But that is of no great matter right now, more pressingly: who sent you? And I presume you are referring to Clara? Answer the second question first."

The old man chuckled, "No one sent me, dear boy. It's Christmas Eve!" He spread his arms jovially. "Or have you forgotten?"

That was impossible. The Doctor leapt up and glanced at the console where his thick brows furrowed. It was right there: December 24. He turned swiftly back around to face the alleged Santa Claus. "Where is Clara? What has happened to her?"

"Clara Oswald is at home, surrounded by friends and family, enjoying the Christmas spirit. She's still grieving the loss of Mr. Pink, of course. That can't be changed, unfortunately. However, some good tidings are coming her way in the twilight of the night," Santa paused, opening his bag slowly and before he reaches in, he asks: "So, doctor, what can I give thee for Christmas? What is your deepest Christmas wish?"

The doctor rolled his eyes, pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the figure before him. The data was read and it concluded what the doctor was unwilling to admit to himself: human. How did this human find him? He parked the TARDIS in the crevice of an eighty foot-tall ice wall in the North Pole. There is no conceivable way a human could have ventured to his TARDIS and walk in. This must be one of UNIT's men.

"I want you to go away," the doctor shooed Santa towards the door. "Go along, then, Santa Claus. Go fill the children's lives with Christmas cheer and leave me be…."

Santa laughed, "She did say you would be like this."

The doctor rolled his eyes, "Never mind what Clara said. Go now, be on your way, ye old Saint Nick! I have work to do!"

"Sitting around as time flies, is more like it!" Santa exclaimed, "Nothing is missed by the eyes of Santa Claus, doctor! You're sitting here wishing circumstances were different, conceiving of all the conceivables and doing nothing about it at all! Nothing! So I've come to deliver you and give you, for once in your long years, a Christmas miracle so you can finally believe in the beauty and cheer of this glorious holiday. Admit now, what is your deepest wish for Christmas and let Santa Claus deliver!"

"I wish for world peace on Earth this Christmas," the doctor grumbled, becoming increasingly annoyed by the stranger's presence.

"While that is a wish you have, it isn't your deepest one, Doctor. You needn't even say it aloud. I know. At the very least admit it to yourself. I'm assuming you're ready, then?"

Santa slapped a band around the doctor's wrists and it had three seconds counting down on it. Before he could tear it off, he was transported to a village with Victorian architecture, snow falling delicately around them and the gas lanterns lighting the way against the dark sky.

"Merry Christmas, love!" The familiar voice came from behind and the doctor slowly turned around, not wanting to face her.

She clutched her umbrella and made a kissy face at him.

"What am I doing here?" the doctor asked, running up urgently to his childhood friend, eyes wide with frustrated bewilderment.

"To celebrate your Christmas cheer?" Missy said with jovial glee, waving her umbrella whiskfuly. "It's been such a wonderful celebration…."

"You never cared for holidays, what are you planning? Tell me why I am here!" the doctor pleaded, putting his hands roughly on her shoulders.

"Bah humbug!" Missy held his chin gently and kissed him lightly on the lips before whispering in his ear, "Would you dare deny the ghost of Christmas past?"

The doctor's eyes were still wide when Missy backed away. It took several moments for awareness to return to him and he realized someone was calling his name.

"Doctor! Doctor, is that you?"

He turned to see a man wearing a purple suit and waving a black top hat in his arms as he ran towards him. A stranger's distraction from Missy allowed the doctor to take a good look at his surroundings. The old Victorian buildings were covered with snow and the tiny trees were filled with Christmas lights. It didn't take him long to make the connection.

"It is! Well, then, welcome back to Christmas, doctor!" the man began eagerly shaking the doctor's hand. "It's so lovely to see you in your new form! I've heard rumors that you've changed forms…."

"Thank you," the doctor said as he took a long look at the tower he had been quite familiar with in his previous incarnation.

"All thanks to you, as you know!" the man replied. He then proceeded to describe the advancements the city had undergone since his last visit. The doctor wasn't paying any mind as he realized Missy was nowhere to be seen. He looked to the ground for any sign of footprints in the snow and sighed happily as he found her trail leading off into the distance. Damn her.

"We've erected a statue in your honor, in fact," the man continued on, guiding the doctor in towards the town, "in memory of that day and how you saved us."

"I did very little," the doctor insisted, slightly annoyed at this inconvenience. But having the manners as pristine as he harbored, he couldn't deny the little man his due time.

"You did so much more than you're letting on, dear Doctor! Had it not been for you, we would all have been murdered by the Daleks, the Cybermen: all the horrors of the Universe!"

Had it not been for me, they would have never appeared in the first place, the doctor so wished he could have replied but it would have been in poor taste. Truly he couldn't understand why he was allowing his foul mood to manifest this way.

"In lieu of your return, we must have a feast! I will summon the counsels!" The man said and hurried along. The doctor glared longingly up at the top of a secluded hill where a single cottage sat upon the white snow. Dark smoke billowed from its chimney, thick as oil it seemed. It looked daunting compared to the jovial Christmas village he stood in. That is where she is.

The man returned quickly and within the hour, the doctor found himself sitting in the town's hall with all the residents waiting for dinner to be served. They informed him that the truth field had never been properly replaced since that night and how adjusting to a new way of life has been difficult. Yet they assured the doctor that genuine efforts are made by the townsmen to remain truthful and honest in their daily affairs, though white lies may be justified given certain circumstances. The doctor applauded their adjustments and insisted it's a testament to their bravery.

A toast was made in the doctor's honor and soon everyone feasted on the honeyed ham, mashed potatoes and green beans. The gravy, the doctor swore, was the best he had ever had and the cooks blushed upon hearing it. Desert was even more wonderful. He chose the peppermint layer cake first and engulfed the entire slice in two bites. Next he had chosen the strawberry cheesecake and his legs twitched in response to how delicious it was. The meal made him forget altogether why he was here in the first place, when it suddenly occurred to him.

"Did you see the woman I was with? Right as you found me this morning?"

"No" the man said jovially from his wine. "Why do you ask? Did you bring your companion Clara? You should have said something, Doctor! We have more than enough food and wine…."

"No," the doctor understood that The Mistress was intentionally camouflaging herself from this village and for devious purposes, no doubt. "I must have indulged a bit too much of this wine, I'm sorry. I had forgotten she did not travel with me this morning. Being the time-traveler that I am, I sometimes forget what happens on which day," he lied.

"No worries, my good doctor! Please, indulge and be merry, for this is Christmas!"

The doctor, out of some felt obligation, shared one more glass of wine with the man before excusing himself quietly from the hall. He insisted that he would be right back for he was in no mood to shake hands with everyone in the hall exchanging "goodbyes" and "see you laters."

He slipped quietly out of the hall and found the sun had set, long ago as it should appear by the black of night. The stars were dimmed against the bright gas lamps guiding the street. It took him twenty minutes to finally find the cottage atop the estranged hill and even longer to make his way through the thick snow. When he found himself at the door, however, he suddenly felt an overwhelming shyness. All this time in reclusion has made him feel unsure of himself in terms of The Master. All their joyous years on Gallifrey and all the years opposing one another in the Universe, yet….

"Oh love, just come in, already."


	2. Chapter 2: Recollections

**Chapter 2: Recollections**

"Oh love, just come in, already," Missy called out from inside.

The doctor immediately opened the door to find Missy sitting upon a rocking chair reading, her blouse undone by several buttons revealing her glorious breasts upheld by a laced black bra. Immediately he averted his eyes.

"What are you doing?" The doctor asked, not daring to look up, still.

"Well what do you think I'm doing?" Missy asked, removing her reading glasses and motioning to the book below.

"No, I'm not talking about…" the doctor couldn't get the image of her breasts out of his mind as he stole quick glances at her. He didn't want to admit to himself how beautiful she looked sitting there.

Missy chuckled and grasped her breasts with both hands sensually, "is my feminine figure making you uncomfortable?"

"Oh shut it," the doctor growled, making direct eye contact with her illuminating blue eyes.

Her grin mocked him, "now, now, love, no need to be rude…."

"I've known you our entire lives, Doctor," Missy continued as she stood up from the chair and placed the book upon it, "don't you think I'd know when you're physically attracted to a time lady? Your problem is that I so happen to be The Master." Her blue eyes pierced him as she said the last sentence.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the doctor insisted.

"Doctor," she quickly stepped before him and grasped his hands firmly but with undeniable gentility, guided him to the sofa couch that he suddenly become overwhelmingly terrified of.

He didn't take his eyes off her, nor did hers off his, and they sat down slowly, a little too close than what's conventional. They didn't say anything for several moments, their eyes just wandering over one another's faces, memorizing the new incarnation's structures, every line, every angle. Missy gently touched his temple with her softs fingers and his eyes shut gracefully in response There was the anger towards one another but also something far more profound that overshadowed the resentments and the doctor didn't dare even entertain the possibility.

Finally, Missy broke the silence, "I always know it's you by your eyes."

The doctor's eyes were still closed and his head bowed, he chucked softly. His two hearts beat longingly.

"It's the way they shine," Missy continued on softly, cupping his face gently, "brighter than the suns and moons of Gallifrey. You've always had it, even when we were younglings."

"I don't understand you," the doctor confessed, looking up at her finally, "you're so intelligent, far more than I ever could dream to be. You mock me with it, you endanger everything I love and challenge my intellect knowing full well that you could do everything I do much quicker and more efficiently. And you do all that you do in spite of me. You lack compassion towards those who you believe inferior to you and you've killed people, people that I've loved!"

"I know," Missy whispered. This time it was her turn to look away.

"Why? Why do you always do this to me?" The doctor grasped her head slowly in his hands to face him, "look at me, please."

She couldn't and there were tears forming in her eyes. "I…I was angry with you," Missy confessed quietly. "I was angry at what you had done."

"I had to do it, I had no choice. The Time War would have destroyed the Universe, torn it apart…."

"And so you destroyed our home," she said more aggressively, her eyes locking in with his, "everything that I have loved…And you..."

Her voice trailed off and she turned away from him, tears slowly falling down her face. She scoffed in remembrance, "you went on traveling the Universe with your human companions, as if it was nothing. I went into your timeline doctor and I saw them all: Rose, River, Amy…."

"The pain was too great," it was now the doctor's turn to choke on his words, "I was naïve and thought I could run from the pain, deny the pain, hide the pain, but it was always there…I'm guilty of genocide, all the blood on my hands…all the blood…."

Missy's chest was heaving, her breathing deepening as she, herself, fought back the pain. She had been systematically molded into the perfect weapon to counter the Daleks and when it came time to fight them and stop the Time War, she grew too frightened and ran to the ends of the Universe and hid like the Coward she was.

"If I had...if I had been the weapon Rassilon expected of me, the weapon they molded me to be, you would have never had to make the choice, Doctor. It's my fault. It has always been my fault…."

The Doctor reached his left hand onto her shoulder gently, turning her ever so softly but only to find Missy dead in the eyes.

"What did he do to you?" the doctor pleaded. He had never seen his childhood friend grow void in all the years he had known The Master.

"Missy?"

She looked at him, at first with sadness in her eyes and then anger. Before he was even aware, Missy had activated his vortex manipulator. He had three seconds.

"Bananas," Missy said wickedly, bearing her teeth at him before blowing a single kiss.

"Missy!" The Doctor called out as he felt the vibrations throughout his body.

And then he landed on the hard snow, staring up at his TARDIS. He punched at the cold ground with his fists and gritted in frustration. She had done it again, made him feel a fool. Yet there was elements that the Doctor couldn't deny, the truths that he didn't want to accept. He sat in the snow and recalled all the memories of his previous incarnation, even the One who betrayed everything The Doctor stood for. He recalled the Time War and how it had made Rassilon do unspeakable acts. _What did he do to you?_

His TARDIS phone rang, requiring him to pick himself up from the snow and run over. He hesitated before picking up.

"Doctor?"

 _Clara!_

"Doctor, are you there?"

"Yes! Clara!" the doctor was so pleased to discover his beloved companion was calling him. If there was one person in the Universe who could cheer him up after what had just happened, it was her. His impossible girl.

"Well how about it, Doctor, let's go visit a faraway planet? I'm having a bit of a troubling day, can't seem to get Danny out of my mind and it doesn't help that some of his old students are in my class…."

"I'm already on my way," the doctor replied as he punched in the coordinates to her school into his console.

"Meet me in the janitor's closet, yeah?" Clara continued with a bit of urgency in her tone.

"I'm arriving now," the doctor said as his TARDIS landed in the abandoned closet. No one in the school used it, which the doctor found both convenient and ironic given its spacious room.

Large enough for his TARDIS to land, and really what is more important when conceiving the greatness of a room.

When the doctor opened the door, Clara was running towards him smiling, arms spread open and for the first time in over a century, the doctor opened his arms to embrace the hug.

"Oh, I've missed you," Clara said.

"And I, you," the doctor replied. "Let's get on, then."

The two climbed into the TARDIS and made their way towards another great adventure but all the while lingering in the back of his mind lived Missy. And all the while he could not stop thinking of the possibilities of what Rassilon and his counsel had done to his beloved friend. _What did he do to you?_


End file.
